


Haunted By The Ghost of You

by Withstarryeyes



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bucky Barnes Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 07:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13383396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withstarryeyes/pseuds/Withstarryeyes
Summary: Tony almost spirals after a decision turns a mission sour. Bucky ensures that doesn't happen, he can't lose Tony.





	Haunted By The Ghost of You

It’s been a long day, Tony thinks as he sits in his leather recliner. There’s not a light on except for the TV, the sound muted. His fingers twitch, ambling for a glass to grasp and swirl the liquid inside. His bar is just a few feet behind him, taunting him. 

But he can’t, and he won’t and… fuck, because its  _hard._  

He doesn’t know when his cheeks become wet, doesn’t know when he’s begun sobbing into the crook of his arm because he’s alone but he’s still ashamed and he was never taught that men could cry and still uphold the family name. 

Beside him are the unassembled pieces of his phone. battery out, sim card discarded. Still, somehow, Bucky finds him. 

Bucky always finds him when he’s like this. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Bucky’s voice calls from the doorway. He’s in shadow, half his body in, half out. He’s waiting for Tony to give him permission to enter. He’s unsure and cautious, always pleading for Tony to let him in but never pushing. 

It’s why Tony loves him. He nods at Bucky, a slight jerk of approval. 

“How can you say that,” Tony whispers as he lowers his arm. Bucky, thank god, doesn’t flinch at his red eyes, his puffy cheeks, his trembling lips. He just slips in and sits on the floor by the chair, putting his hand on Tony’s leg. 

“I saw the footage. Your call was logical, saved the most lives.”

“Didn’t save the most important ones,” He stands as if to get a drink and Bucky takes the opportunity to sit, tugging Tony back down at the waist. 

“I won’t let you go down on this,” he says and Tony nods, voice too unsteady to rely on. 

“It hurts.”

Bucky doesn’t respond, he just pulls Tony’s head down on his shoulder, feeling the scruff scrape against his collarbone as Tony breaks back into sobs. He rubs a hand down Tony’s back, tapping each vertebra in his spine to ground him. 

“She was a child”  _Pat,_ “I-I… I saw her eyes, Buck, as she was…”  _Glide down,_  “she was terrified when she got sucked in and there was nothing I could do,”  _Head down on his head, humming,_ “they pulled her out of the rubble not even five minutes later but it was too late,”  _Shushing under his breath,_ “she suffocated.”

There’s a long pause after that. Bucky knows not to fill it, Tony will come back to him. But he needs time to think, time to realize and process and control. Only then will Bucky speak, pull him up, kiss his forehead, his eyes, his lips, each one a reminder of how loved Tony is, how cared for he will be. They’ll go to bed, neither ones’ sleep any good, but they’ll wake tangled together, sober and Tony won’t have relapsed. Bucky won’t have lost him.

It takes an hour before Tony shifts, looks at Bucky with wide but clear eyes and clears his throat. “I know what it feels like to be suffocated.”

“I know what it feels like to be sucked down,” Bucky responds and Tony nods, understanding that Bucky  _gets_  it, he  _knows_. The girl died a death Tony wouldn’t wish on anyone. 

He pushes Tony up gently, slipping an arm around his shoulder. Leans in, kisses him on his forehead, his eyes, his lips, tugs him to bed where they’ll wake together. The memory of the girl washed away a little by their dreams, Bucky an anchor for Tony in the wake. 


End file.
